She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
