The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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