I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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