I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize