the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
