i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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