super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
