so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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