Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
