MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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