We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
