I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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