do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
