You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
