I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
