well you can't waste a boner
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
