This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
