Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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