Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
