I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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