we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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