I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize