My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
