Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
