If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
