True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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