ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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