Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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