im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
