how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
