she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
