my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
