you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
