Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think my vagina is haunted
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
