I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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