i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
