I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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