My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
