Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
