the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The air was thick with penises
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
