I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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