just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
