guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
pray to the hookup gods
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
