She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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