Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
