i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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