Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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