i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
