WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize