half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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