omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize