wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
