so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
