my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
