standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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