Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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