Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

oh fat girl friday strikes again...

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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(301): View more from Maryland

Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons

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(630): View more from Illinois

She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom

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(708): View more from Illinois

You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.

(989): View more from Michigan

If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.

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