I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
