Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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