I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
this will be a night to untag.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
