He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
