I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
