I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
